The right amount (a little bit) of worry can solidify the bond between a parent and their adult child, but too much concern from one party or both can damage the relationship, says Elizabeth Hay, a University of Florida psychology professor who led a study on how parents and their adult children worry about each other. "In a sense it's socially and emotionally supportive to worry and share your concerns, but you need to do it in a way that doesn't make the other person feel that you perceive them to be incapable of managing their own affairs," says Hay.

How do you do this? "It's imperative that we keep in mind that our parents are adults," says psychologist Sally-Anne McCormack. "If there are choices they're making that we don't like, we need to ask ourselves if they're capable of decision-making. If they are, then we need to take a step back and allow them to do what they want."

When taking "a step back" is easier said than done, offer your oldies kind, practical help without nagging or belittling them. Example: "If you're worried about their health decisions, say, they have diabetes but continue poor eating habits, bring them meals that you know are healthy," says McCormack.

But don't go OTT with doing things for them. "It's natural to worry but it's not healthy to be overly interventionalist," says social psychologist Dr Michael Burge. "There are financial advisors, psychologists and other experts out there, so don't take on those roles for your parents. Instead, just point them in the right direction if you feel you should."

Pointing them in the right direction doesn't mean being a bossy-boots. "Make sure that when you present a concern to your parents, say it in a positive way, rather than a patronising way, as this may infer that they've lost some of their independence," she suggests. "Begin conversations with them by 'couching' your concerns with positives. For example, express your pride in them related to the issue that worries you, then say what's worrying you, then again express your pride in them. This way they hear some great things, but will also listen to your worries about them."

If you're worried about something your mum or dad is planning to do - perhaps buying a not-yet-built condo in Ethiopia - channel your inner journo and probe: "Questioning is often a successful way to express your concerns to them," says McCormack. "Depending on their responses, you can direct the conversation to the area that you want to discuss with more questions. For example, if you're worried that they're going to invest money in a shonky company, your question could be, 'Have you checked the background of that company?' or 'Have you found that it could be too good to be true?' By doing this, you've limited their possible responses, and it may push them into investigating further. At a later date, they may tell you that the company was shonky, and you can empower them by congratulating them for their investigative skills. These techniques work well with children and our partners, too."

Being a good journo also requires listening, so don't forget to keep your ears open: "People usually don't want you to fix their problems but to listen and validate, so if your parent tells you about a problem, listen without feeling like you need to solve it," says Dr Burge.

And remember that you and your parents are separate entities - they don't necessarily need or want the same things as you. "We need to make sure that we don't expect our parents to have the same goals as us. They were raised in a different generation in different circumstances, and whatever their approach is, if it's worked well enough until now, it should keep working," says McCormack. "If they're competent enough to have their own reasons for the things they do, then respect their decisions and accept how different they are."

If you're a worry-wart by nature, simply helping you parents may not work, but McCormack advises asking yourself, "Will worrying about this change it?" "If there is something you can do, then do it. But, if you know you can't, all you can do is support your parents, keep the lines of communication open, and let them know how much you love them."