Here's a sad imbalance: we have more words for gloomy emotions than cheery ones. "In studies where people are asked to name as many emotional words as possible in three minutes, they can always name more negative ones than positive," says positive psychologist Dr Suzy Green. "Negative emotions tend to be stronger and last longer, too. Research shows that positive emotions are more fleeting and can be disturbed easily. But if you're in a bad mood, a bit of positive information doesn't even start to scratch the surface."
So our positive emotions - the quiet, well-behaved kids in class - are being overshadowed and bullied by the negative ones. Dr Barbara Fredrickson, a social psychologist at the University of North Carolina, US, and author of Positivity (amazon.com), has spent 20 years studying the effects of positive emotions. Her research has found that when we feel genuine positive emotions three times more often than negative ones, we cross a psychological tipping point and start to "flourish". "You can't describe flourishing people as simply happier - they function at a totally different level," she says. Fredrickson's identified 10 emotions that help you build cognitive flexibility, combat harmful negativity and create a reserve of resilience that helps you cope with life's challenges. The more of these positive emotions you experience, the more socially connected - and healthy - you're likely to be. "Your mild and fleeting pleasant states are far more potent than you think," she says. "We know now that they alter your mind and body in ways that can literally help you create your best life." Sounds good to us. We look at how to download this emotional top 10 into your life.
Gratitude
This is probably the most researched positive emotion - and the one causing the biggest buzz in wellness circles. Research by Dr Sonja Lyubomirsky, a psychologist at the University of California, Riverside, in the US and author of The How of Happiness (amazon.com), has led her to name eight (yep, eight) specific ways in which gratitude can increase your wellbeing, including building social bonds, bolstering self-worth and minimising social comparison. But most important, she says, is that gratitude "helps us thwart hedonic adaptation". Translation: we don't get so used to running water, economic stability and Lindt Excellence that we take it for granted. So your mum was right - saying thank you really is important.
Mind your gratitude - Yeah, yeah, we've heard it too: keeping a gratitude journal has become standard advice if you want to boost your mood, but there's a caveat, says Dr Green: "There's no point thinking Oh, I'd better write something... It has to be heartfelt. That's when it can significantly change your feelings about yourself and your life." The new twist: Dr Lyubomirsky warns against falling into a gratitude rut: "Keep the gratitude strategy fresh by varying it and not overpractising it," she says. Her research suggests that writing a list of things you're thankful for every week, rather than every day, is likely to lead to better results.
Hope
Unlike most positive emotions, hope doesn't spring from safety and familiarity, but from less comfortable circumstances. "Deep within the core of hope is the belief that things can change, turn out better... Hope sustains you and motivates you to turn things around," says Dr Fredrickson. It's a good one to have up your sleeve in uncertain times.
Float your hope - Most psychologists agree that hope, or optimism, can be learned - it's all about reframing, says Dr Fredrickson. "We can keep our negativity in check by questioning our mental habits, like jumping to conclusions or ruminating." And when you set a goal, keep your hope reserves stocked by figuring out a number of different ways to achieve it, not just one, says Dr Green: "High hopers are solution focused - they can disengage from their original hopes and transfer them onto more achievable goals, even if they haven't got control over things."
Joy
Children have this one in the bag - joy is all about playfulness and fun. It's often used interchangeably with happiness and shares a lot of ground with exhilaration and amusement. It's joy that makes you start a spontaneous pillow fight, sing at the top of your voice or jump up and down on the bed. Dr Fredrickson says joy tends to occur as a result of something that happens - a smile from your baby, an unexpected gift or visit from a friend or a personal achievement. She also argues that it serves an evolutionary purpose - play, whether physical, social or intellectual, develops skills such as hand-eye coordination that you use in other parts of your life. So, over time, experiencing joy can build your physical, intellectual and social skills. Puts Connect Four in a whole new light, doesn't it?
Use your joy schtick - It's hard (OK, impossible) to put "2pm: be joyous" on your to-do list, but that doesn't mean you should just wait around for your next hit of joy. Dr Green recommends that you actively identify moments when you've felt joyous in the past: "What hobbies did you do as a kid or teenager and always felt you'd like to get back to but haven't?" she says. Horseriding, singing, playing Twister... whatever you come up with is your own joy gold mine, so book yourself regular adult play dates. Really don't have the time? Learning to label and savour unexpected moments of joy is just as crucial. Dr Green also suggests practising "positive reminiscing" - looking back at "peak experiences" in your life, such as finishing your first triathlon or the moment your partner proposed. Surround yourself with photos of these occasions - stick them up around your desk and on the fridge - as sure-fire joy-boosters.
Serenity
A bit like a mellower, more sustained version of joy, serenity is a sense of peace and wholeness - that feeling of not having to be anywhere else or do anything else. Um, yeah, not something you often manage in a regular day. We experience less and less of these moments in our busy lives - most of us only get to be serene beans while we're on holiday. Shame, because regularly calming your mind is one of the best ways to boost your long-term mood. In a study by the University of Wisconsin in the US, the brains of Buddhist monks were found to light up in the areas associated with happiness and positive thoughts when they were meditating.
Serenity, now! - The chances of serenity just descending on you are about as slim as Keira Knightley on Atkins. This one, ironically, takes more effort. Meditation is the classic way to achieve serenity - but that doesn't have to involve prolonged periods of sitting cross-legged. Matthieu Ricard, author of Happiness: A Guide to Developing Life's Most Important Skill ($40.99, Sounds True), suggests "attentive walking". Next time you take a walk, don't hurry - instead, pay attention to what surrounds you at every step. "Stop, look around and notice how wonderful life is: the trees, the white clouds, the infinite sky. Listen to the birds, delight in the light breeze." For a quick stroll down Serenity Lane, Dr Green recommends heading to just-a-minute.org for free one-minute meditations. Ahhh.
Interest
If humans hadn't developed this, we'd still be sitting around in caves grunting at each other. Interest, aka curiosity, leads us to investigate, learn, develop, win Nobel prizes. Finding something that wakes you up from routine, or an interesting item, issue or activity that calls your attention to something new can boost your self-esteem and make you feel better about the world, says Dr Fredrickson. "Fear closes down our minds and hearts, whereas positive emotions open them up."
Grow your interest - Signing up for a course you're interested in, following up on something you've read that sparks your imagination - anything that leads you to find out more (even if it's IMDb-ing the Private Practice cast list) - is in your best, well, interests. But you can also broaden these skills in seemingly unlikely circumstances. Dr Ellen Langer, a psychologist from Harvard University, conducted a study in which she asked three groups of footy-hating women to watch a Super Bowl game. She asked one group to make six "novel distinctions" about the game, one to make three and one to just watch. The group who took note of six things in the game enjoyed themselves significantly more than the other two groups - even if it was just something like "That player's arse is hot". Something to try next time you're in a dull work meeting or having dinner with the in-laws, perhaps?
Pride
Yep, one of the seven deadlies - what the? "You need to utilise this emotion with appropriate humility - there's a healthy amount," says Dr Green. This kind of pride is about having a sense of achievement about yourself and your life, and taking time to congratulate yourself when you've hit a goal, rather than just moving on to concentrate on your next "thing". Yes, you can even be a little smug about an achievement (if you must).
Pump up your pride - Research has shown that one fail-safe way to experience well-deserved pride is to be altruistic - volunteer or do someone a good turn. Research supports the idea of "paying it forward" (as espoused in the sick-making film of the same name). "It's called the upward spiral effect," says Dr Lyubomirsky. So come over all Amélie and do three good turns, particularly for strangers, then bask in the warm, fuzzy glow. See helpothers.org for a bit of inspiration.
Amusement
OK, this one rates high on the "duh" scale - of course laughing makes you feel good, and who wouldn't seek out opportunities to be amused? In fact, it's hardwired into us: researchers from both the University and Imperial College London found that when we hear laughing or a positive sound such as a "whoohoo" it triggers a response in the area of our brain that's activated when we smile. "We usually encounter positive emotions like laughter or cheering in group situations, whether watching a comedy programme with family or a football game with friends," says University of College London neuroscientist Dr Sophie Scott. "This response in the brain, automatically priming us to smile or laugh... could play an important role in building strong bonds between individuals in a group."
Amuse yourself - You don't need us to tell you how to crack yourself up (but we will anyway) - your friends, YouTube, Scrubs DVDs. And this is one instance in which it is good to follow the crowd - laughter is infectious, so the more you hang out with groups of people, the higher your ROFL chances.
Inspiration
This word translates to "taking in your breath" and it's a pretty apt description of the feeling. Inspiration lifts you up, broadens your mind and makes you feel connected to the world around you. You might find it looking at a painting or reading a triumph-over-adversity story in the newspaper. As sales of inspirational fridge magnets show, it's something we all want more of, but a quote by Rudyard Kipling with a picture of a unicorn rarely delivers the goods.
Get inspired - Inspiration is an emotion you can actively seek out - putting yourself in different situations is key to feeling more inspired, more often. Or, next time you have a few minutes to spare, Dr Green suggests visiting ted.com for videos of inspiring speeches and jaw-dropping research. And what about those "lightbulb" moments, when inspiration suddenly descends, seemingly for no reason? That's about gut feelings, says Dr Green. "You gain inspiration when you listen to your intuition." So, if you have a sudden urge to call an old friend or to take a different route to work, listen up. (See Gut instincts, p124, for more information about following your intuition.)
Awe
This is the "Grand Canyon" emotion, says Dr Fredrickson. It's triggered when we're faced with nature on a grand scale - lying on your back looking up at the Milky Way or seeing Fox Glacier up close for the first time. Awe can manifest physically too, with a tingly hair-on-end sensation, or the sudden desire to talk like a stoned teen: "Like, wow, that's totally awesome, dude."
Be struck by awe - You won't find awe at your local supermarket - or anywhere you're used to. "Habituation plays a large part, so even if your view was over the Great Barrier Reef, you'd need to go to a new place," says Dr Green. Booking yourself a holiday to somewhere remote and stunning isn't the only way to feel awe, though - Dr Fredrickson reckons it's all in your mindset. "We're surrounded by...natural beauty and human kindness, but we're blind to these wonders," she says. "If you make your motto 'be open' you remove those blinders."
Love
Last but certainly not least - love. It's one of the most powerful - and frequent - emotions we experience. But we're not just talking romantic love - there are many types: love for our parents, children, friends, pets, love of nature. "Love triggers the more specific positive emotions like interest and joy," says Dr Fredrickson, and it also encompasses the other seven positive emotions we've covered. In a study of 160 female college students published in the journal Hormones and Behavior this June, University of Michigan, US, researchers found that bonding with another person increases your levels of the hormone progesterone. And people with higher levels of progesterone have a greater desire to bond with and help others, and experience less anxiety and stress. There's that upward spiral thing again. Dr Fredrickson quotes American psychologist Carroll Izard, who is famous for his contributions to emotional theories, on how love can deepen your own and others' wellbeing: "Acquaintances or friends renew your interest by revealing new aspects of themselves and the resulting increase in familiarity brings joy... In lasting friendships or love relationships, this cycle is repeated endlessly."
Gimme some lovin' - There's no such thing as "too much love" in your life. So how to get more of it? "Developing love for ourselves is the first step," says Dr Green. "People have hang-ups about that, but we need to know that we have strengths and weaknesses - and focus on the former." She recommends the loving-kindness meditation (find out how to do this at sharonsalzberg.com). Taking time to connect with others will also bring more love into your life. Next time you arrange to meet up with an old friend, or just ask your partner about his day, you can pat yourself on the back for boosting your love levels.
Can you feel it? Get more of the big 10 in your life
Don't force yourself to be positive, as this can be counterproductive, Dr Fredrickson advises. "What's better is to lightly create the mindset of positivity: be open, be appreciative, be curious, be kind but, above all, be real." Have "mindful moments" - on your morning commute, turn your focus outwards and engage all your senses.
Dr Fredrickson suggests this exercise: pick an emotion and spend 10 minutes writing at least 15 ideas to increase ways to feel it - things you know will work (eg camping with friends), new things to try or ways to change your thinking (ie seeking opportunities to feel pride or savouring inspiration whenever it visits).
Focus on and identify which particular emotion you're experiencing at any time - this is a critical psychological skill. When you're aware of a feeling of amusement, for example, you can savour it, make more of it - and store it away in your positive emotion cache.
Set a three-month goal. "Pick two or three of these to implement each week over the next month," says Dr Green. "Set a goal for three months to see how your strategies are working to increase your positivity ratio - it takes three months to see change in behaviour."
Post your comment
Comment Guidelines