I remember when I thought accumulating ‘things’ would make me happy. But I still felt unhappy and unfulfilled. When I began to really get to know myself, possessions didn’t matter – there was a feeling of happiness at the core of my being.

Imagine a home with strong foundations, which support it in every season. Understanding who I was created those same foundations in me. Challenges didn’t rock me like they once did, and I began creating a life that met my needs.

We can accumulate lots of stuff hoping it will define who we are, but if we lose it we feel we’ve lost ourselves. By getting to know who we are, our happiness comes from within rather than from external circumstances.

Have you ever thought about who you are? ‘Who I am’ is very different from ‘what I do’. It’s easy for people to talk about the things they do, but you need to know the authentic person that makes you, you.

The authentic you

Take a piece of paper and begin writing words that describe who you are – loving, ambitious, brave, impatient, empathetic, abundant, competitive, elaborate, focused, adventurous, trustworthy, fussy, artistic, assertive or laid-back.

Spend time coming up with as many descriptive words as possible. Look at your strengths and weaknesses and add these to your list. Who inspires you, or rubs you up the wrong way?

This list is who you are.

When you are expressing and living your qualities, you will feel a sense of freedom.

Examine your life

Define each area of your life – home, family, work, health and fitness, friends and community. Observe whether you are fully being you in each area.

If you find you’re focused in one area but not another, ask what needs to happen so you can move back into being focused? Which other strengths can you draw on to assist you?

Make the change

Implement your attributes into one area of your life at a time. This is not something that can happen overnight.

A client, let’s call her Amanda, started with her home life. There were qualities she was already expressing such as loving, fun and nurturing, but assertiveness was something she needed to practice. Amanda knew it would be easier to practise on her loved ones first. After time she became aware of when she was allowing others to push her boundaries.

Love who you are

There is no one else like you. You are unique. Begin acknowledging the authentic you. Be proud.

Author Marianne Williamson says, ‘Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, “Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?” Actually, who are you not to be?’