The scene:
James Spader, Hollywood's go-to guy for complex sexual deviance, claims to be impotent in order to get women to describe their erotic experiences on film. A prim Andie McDowell is initially shocked by his kinky hobby, but eventually turns on the video camera to discuss her love life and begin a most unlikely seduction.

The turn-on:
This is an unusual sex scene because it doesn't involve any actual jiggery-pokery. Instead, it's really about intimacy and forging a true connection with the opposite sex. Spader and McDowell let down their guard to confide raw details about their lives, allowing themselves to become completely vulnerable in the process.

"The main thing that's erotic about this is that she's really opening up and being her true self," says Hellyer. "Women in particular would find this erotic. He's really interested in her and is asking such deep questions, but also being equally honest in responding to her. This is really good foreplay."

Your sequel:
"Sometimes sex is the place where people are the least intimate," Hellyer says. "People will put on an act and play the porn star or the coy wife or whatever. Instead of truly being themselves and honest about what they want, they're only doing things they think their partner wants and expects. But it's much easier to get to the truly erotic once you've got intimacy."

True intimacy will give you the confidence to be open about what floats your boat without fear of being rejected or looking like a colossal pervert. That's why you're more likely to have fabulous sex with your soulmate than a one-night hook-up.

Unsurprisingly, the key to building deeper intimacy is good communication. So if you want to be a smash-hit in the sack you need to stop mind-reading and start talking.

To maintain the sexual connection with your partner, Hellyer has developed a concept she calls "living life as foreplay". No, this doesn't mean walking around in your Y-fronts with a suggestive leer; it's all about trying to be more sensually aware and receptive to your partner 24/7.

The seduction process should begin way before you get to the bedroom, explains Hellyer. "If you're planning on having some good sex that evening, lead up to it by sending her nice little texts, or ringing her up to say nice things over the phone," she says. "Words can be very sexy, whether it's poetry or dirty talking,"