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Dating After a Breakup: 4 Things You Must Know

After a significant relationship ends, or if you've been through a divorce, the idea of jumping back into the dating world can be overwhelming and intimidating. This is especially true if you are a single parent, or if you have been out of the dating game for a long time. Fortunately, there are many ways you can simplify your return to courtship and make a success out of your newfound singledom.

These are the 4 things you need to know:

Take time to heal.  Make sure that you are mentally and emotionally prepared to date again. This is one of the most important parts of dating after a split. The end of a marriage or long-term relationship can be quite traumatic, especially if children are involved and you were together for many years. You can get through this difficult time by talking to a therapist, relying on friends and family for support, and taking each day as it comes. When you are ready to date again, you will know it!

Find your confidence.  Divorce can do a number on a person's self-esteem. You might blame yourself for a breakup, think that you are a failure, or obsessively wonder what you did wrong. Stop! Your heart is still reeling, and only time will help heal the happiness and confidence that you lost. Until then, fake it ‘til you make it. Try a new haircut, get a facial, start working out again, or update your wardrobe. It might sound simple, but sometimes a little self-esteem boost can do wonders!

Get out there.  You are not going to meet Mr. or Mrs. Right if you never leave the comfort and safety of your own living room. Make an effort to meet new people, and commit to dating at least twice per month. Ask your friends or family members if they know of any great single guys or gals, or try your hand at online dating. The more dates you go on, the more chances you will have to meet someone special. And even if the romantic connection isn't there, you can still network, meet new friends, and just have fun!

Prepare the kids.  If you are dating and you have kids, try to keep any prospective partners away from the house until you are certain he or she is a keeper. Have sleepovers at their house, or if they have kids too, rent a hotel room or save sleepovers for nights when the kids are away. You don't want to confuse or hurt your children if the relationship doesn't pan out. Once you both feel comfortable that the relationship is serious then you can bring your new mate around to meet the kids. Try to make it a fun activity, such as a picnic lunch at the park, or an afternoon at an amusement park. 

Remember, love and romance are important parts of everyone's life. Commit to making dating part of your life again, and enjoy the adventure and fun that comes along for the ride!  

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217 Comments Report Abuse
1. scottgadke - Aug 25 07:26am
Some people are just so accustomed to having a partner that have to find a new one asap. It is important to heal before you start a new relationship. I like the last part about sleepovers.....lol.... No children at my place....Ha !!! Wink , Wink !!!! Bottom line here is find someone you like to be with. Don't try to fill the void to quickly after a break up. I have seen people go out and find the first person to take the ex's place and settle for someone they don't particularly like being with. You will know if they are a keeper when you spend some time with them. Lots of fish in the sea. When you find the one you like, take them home !!!
2. nebui - Aug 25 07:32am
I have just come out of an abusive marriage with 4 kids and its so true about the suggestions here in this article. I have been leaning on friends for support and have been excercising which has helped my self esteem too. Now I know time will heal all wounds and I will find love again. Thanks.
3. deeley_r - Aug 25 08:23am
Why are single people made to feel they HAVE to be dating or in a relationship ?? A person (male or female) should be treated with respect, enjoy the single life and the freedom that it gives you, allow other people the same rights and the same happiness. Stop trying, relax, enjoy life.
4. npj15 - Aug 25 01:42pm
This is just common sense - "You are not going to meet Mr. or Mrs. Right if you never leave the comfort and safety of your own living room". Well, now that I know that, success is bound to be around the corner.
5. crookchris@y7mail.com - Aug 25 01:45pm
why do peple read this get out there an be sleazy theres nothin wrong with a lil gang bang its heathy
6. kelley_podmore - Aug 25 04:26pm
wot about if ur breaking up with the guy u latched onto to fill the void of your 12 year marriage , when u like spending time with him but in the scheme of things 2 jobs 3 kids he just dosnt measure up to yur newly found confidence and expectations, wot if no will now???
7. knickman666 - Aug 25 05:14pm
deeley, no guy or gal shldnt just be single 4eva, being sum1s gf or bf isnt so bad. u shld try having a bf sumtime.
8. chuckcc2007 - Aug 26 03:18am
This post from the blog's author is very nice work. Thanks!
9. a_powers@att.net - Aug 26 09:40am
I agree that you have to let yourself heal. I had to go through this a number of times. I found that now that I'm older I can handle it better than when I was younger. When I was younger I was too idealistic. That just made it all the harder to deal with. But yes boys and girls, get out there and be with your friends and family!!! Nothing will cure a relationship loss like these two!
10. dangerboy66@sbcglobal.net - Aug 27 04:09pm
if the stupid photo on the home page of the guy with the FAUX-hawk is any example, you folks don't know your love-life from a hole in the ground. please, THAT look is not cute, or funny. it's just insulting.
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