Is your man having an affair? Sometimes the most damning of appearances can be perfectly innocent, and behind the apparently innocent can be a history of numerous affairs and illicit assignations. There's no way to know for sure unless you have caught him red-handed or have gathered irrefutable evidence. There are, however, warning signs that are important not to ignore. These signs don't mean your husband is having an affair. They are only clues, and it's unwise to jump to a conclusion because of them.

It's in the little changes
If you are suspicious you need to keep your eyes open and look for any indications that there is an affair going on. Is there fertile ground for wandering? The more indicators there are that fit your situation, the more likely the possibility of an affair either now or in the future. The first few are the classic signs such as lipstick on the collar and an unfamiliar perfume on his clothes. Working late is another.

Suddenly he likes to preen...
Does he tend to his grooming with extra care, when he was so-so about it before? Does he check the mirror more often, or use after shave or cologne and didn't before? Does he shower twice a day when once was his norm? Has he gone on a diet recently or begun a fitness routine? A man having an affair will behave as he did in your dating days, placing a priority on good grooming and a healthy lifestyle.

He is acting secretive...
Does he behave oddly when on his cell phone or the computer? Does he take calls in private or leave the room quickly? Does he suddenly receive or make more calls than is customary for him? Does he minimise computer screens when you come into the room or exit them? He may be communicating with someone with whom he is having an affair.

He doesn't want to talk...
Has he clammed up in the marriage, refusing to communicate? Does he avoid honest discussions with you about your relationship? Does it feel as if he's checked out mentally, his mind elsewhere when you are together?

He has reasons to not be in the house...
Has he taken up new interests and past times, and does he have meetings to attend in relations to them? If he was a homebody before, does he now find excuses and reasons to leave the house, and do so often?

He has lost his interest in sex, or his interests have changed...
Has the sexual side of your marriage all but disappeared? Is it predictable rather than spontaneous? Or has it changed? Does he suddenly behave differently in bed, trying things that are foreign to your previous experience with him? Does he kiss differently?

THINK: How are things really between the two of you...
You might also look to the situation with your spouse. What is your own relationship like? Are you looking elsewhere yourself? It's an odd quirk in our psychological makeup that we sometimes see in others that which is going on with ourselves. Often, a man who is excessively jealous may be committing the very acts he suspects in his partner. The same applies to women. Is your own conscience clear?

Be aware that you may be wrong... but be aware.
Every one of these things could be the actions of an innocent man. Your fears may be entirely ungrounded. There is always a chance you are reading and interpreting the signs wrongly. The only way to know for sure, when your suspicions reach an all-time high, is professional intervention. This may take the form of marriage counseling or it may be the hiring of a private detective. It's important to search for the truth, and not to be satisfied with suspicions. Don't act rashly, but don't hide your head in the sand either.

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