Some things in parenting are certain - tantrum-throwing toddlers are one
of them. In fact, you should probably be more worried if your child doesn't occasionally chose to express themselves at 150 decibels or through a strange interpretive dance, because they will be finding some other, less obvious way to regain some control over the big people in their lives.

But if tantrums are becoming a regular means of communication in your household, or you're reluctant to say no or go to certain places because of the high likelihood of an embarrassing hissy fit from your child, then these tips may help.

When you're out in public

You'll feel more confident if you can reassure your child, yourself and concerned strangers that you're in control. Maintain emotional distance while staying physically nearby, holding your child or standing over them. Keep your cool using phrases such as, ‘Let me know when you're ready to talk nicely.'

Be prepared. Take snacks, limit the length of time you're out, time visits wisely, ensure the kids know exactly what you're going to do.

Enlist a child on a special mission. Begin the build-up before you even leave the house. A child who's hunting desperately for a can of baked beans or carefully steering the trolley for you is too busy to have a tantrum.

Make friends with embarrassment. Remember that the majority of the people who turn to stare are thinking, ‘Thank goodness it's not my turn today.'

Consistency

Being firm one day and giving in the next will probably create worse tantrums than always giving in. Kids want to know what works, and if they're confused they will find it hard to trust that you mean what you say.

If you threaten to leave the shop or skip an agreed treat if they have a tantrum, by all means do it. It's a hard call for everyone, but next time they will know you mean it.

Things you can do at home

Teach the language of emotions from an early age and encourage your children to tell you, rather than show you, how they feel. For very young ones, a wall chart with different faces to choose from is a fun way to express how they feel.

When making a request, keep your tone, words and posture positive. These subtle cues send messages to our children about how we expect them to behave, and if we expect the worst, we will probably get it.

Are you using ‘No' when ‘Yes, later' would work just as well? When kids get demanding it's tempting to say no to everything, but they will quickly lose hope and motivation to behave well if they don't see a light at the end of the tunnel.

Show your children how to handle frustration well by sharing your emotions with them. When you get bad news in the mail or drop a plate on your toe, talk through your feelings with them. ‘I feel upset! But I'll turn the music up and dance with you instead - I think that will make me feel better.'

If your children are throwing tantrums regularly, check that it's not the only way they know to get your attention. If it's all that's available, the negative feedback they receive will be just as attractive to them as the positive.