When Raewyn Davies experienced an ache under her armpit almost four years ago, not for one second did she envisage that within days her life would be turned upside down.

‘It was this weird pain, as if I'd pulled a muscle or something,' recalls the 49-year-old breast cancer survivor, who's bravely telling her story for the first time to New Idea. ‘I'm one of those people who doesn't tend to go to the doctor a lot, but it wasn't coming right and something was niggling me.'

Shock diagnosis

Tests confirmed the news every woman fears - she had a four-centimetre malignant tumour growing on the chest wall directly behind her left nipple. The surrounding lymph nodes were also affected and there was a risk that the cancer would spread even further.

‘I was in complete shock,' says Raewyn, who becomes teary as she recounts that fateful February day in 2006. ‘I wasn't at the age where I was getting regular mammograms and I had no inkling that this was what it could be.'

Raewyn's fears immediately turned to her family - husband Roger, 53, who was with her when she was diagnosed, and their son Scott, now 24.

‘I instantly began to worry about how it was going to affect them and who would take care of them. I couldn't tell Scott - I just burst into tears.'

As a book publicist at one of New Zealand's busiest publishing houses, Hachette, Raewyn's next concern was how her diagnosis was going to impact on her work schedule.

‘I had so much happening at work and asked the surgeon if I could delay the surgery. She looked at me and said, "No".

‘I knew I was in trouble when the next thing she said was, "You're a fighter, you'll get through this." It was then I realised we had a battle on our hands.'

Within 10 days of her first doctor's visit, Raewyn underwent a mastectomy. A second benign tumour on her right breast was also removed.

‘Roger and I made the call that whatever needed to be done, we would do it. It was a matter of getting through it the best we could.'

From day one, it was a positive attitude, humour and the unwavering support of her husband of 28 years that Raewyn says helped her cope. The Warkworth-based couple set up a bed for Raewyn in their lounge, with a laptop and TV nearby, and she continued working during the next nine months of chemo and radiotherapy.

‘Keeping things as normal as possible was really important to me. It kept me sane,' she smiles.

Having recently passed the crucial two-year mark without her cancer recurring, Raewyn's now cautiously optimistic.

‘I don't think you ever get to the point where you know you've beaten it for good - that's the scariest part. But you can't let it worry you too much or it will consume your life.'

Surrounded by her loved ones for New Idea's photo shoot, Raewyn struggles to find the words to explain just how grateful she is for the support she's received, especially because her cancer affected so many people in her life.

‘Everywhere I turned I had such fabulous people around me,' she says. ‘If I started to drop there was always someone there to hoist me back up.

‘Roger really stepped up. He put up with so much, kept everyone informed and just kept the wheels in motion. I always thought he was pretty amazing, but this reinforced that.'  

The people who helped me beat breast cancer...

Medical expertise

Raewyn credits Dr Elspeth Dickson for saving her life.

‘I believe she knew what was wrong when I walked into her surgery that day,' says Raewyn, who's forged a close bond with Elspeth. ‘She was honest and open and assured me we'd get through this. I never had reason to doubt I was in good hands.'

Elspeth says Raewyn's optimistic attitude and desire to move forward is what sets her apart from other patients.

‘When someone is diagnosed with a condition like cancer, it is very easy to dwell on it and let it consume your life. But Raewyn has dealt with things as they've arisen and moved on. She's always maintained an amazingly positive attitude.'

Look good feel better

Hairdresser Jude Brentnall's support was invaluable to Raewyn during the most traumatic stage of her breast cancer ordeal - when she lost her hair.

Raewyn asked Jude, whose husband Dave works with Roger, to shave off her gorgeous and thick wavy hair as soon as it started falling out in clumps after chemotherapy.

‘I didn't realise how much the whole hair thing would affect me,' Raewyn admits, adding that her struggle wasn't due to vanity. ‘When I took off my wig I looked like a cancer patient and it took away my choice to share or not to share what I was going through.'

Jude, who helped Raewyn wear her wig with pride, says, ‘Losing hair for a woman is really a double whammy when you are losing a breast as well. It was nice to be able to help in some small way when she was going through such mammoth changes. She is a strong, dignified person and, I would hope, an inspiration to anyone suffering through this disease.'

Best friends

Blown away by the outpouring of love from her support network, Raewyn was humbled by the understanding of her friends.

‘They didn't mind if I didn't feel up to talking or visits. I could be honest and know that they'd still be there for me.'

Raewyn's diagnosis made her realise the depth and nature of her dearest friendships.

‘My first thought was how could I help her because she's helped me through some very rough times,' says Sandy Stewart, a friend of 30 years. ‘We all think these things won't touch our lives.'

Lesley Robinson explains, ‘Devastation was the first reaction, and then when I saw and spoke to her that changed to acceptance and an attitude of "What can I do?"'

Childhood friend Lynn Burns says, ‘When it's a friend and they're close to your age, it's twice as scary. It reinforces your vulnerability. You never know what's around the corner for you.'

Sage advice

Raewyn's colleague, breast cancer survivor Beth Davies, knew Raewyn would hear plenty of well-wishes and horror stories from others. Instead she only passed on these three pieces of advice:

1 Be selfish. Only you can really get through this, so look after yourself and do what's right for you.

2 Listen to the doctors and do everything they tell you to.

3 Natural remedies will help you stay healthy from day to day.

Raewyn says Beth's ‘three steps' became her mantra, and were a big part of her getting through with very few bad days.

Working it

Continuing her role as a publicist was important to Raewyn, who was intent on keeping her life as normal as possible. With the support and understanding of her long-time colleagues,
she managed to juggle her workload with tests and treatments.

‘Everyone rallied together to ensure Raewyn didn't have another issue to deal with - job security,' her former manager Trish Viall says. ‘She never complained and used her sense of humour to deal with her illness.'

Former workmate Siobhan Clare adds, ‘At work she enjoyed being Raewyn the cricket-loving publicist, not Raewyn the cancer sufferer. It gave her an outlet.'

Daddy's girl

Being so far away from his daughter during her ordeal was difficult for Raewyn's dad Don, who lives on Australia's Sunshine Coast. Like Raewyn's mum Joyce, Don, 80, grappled with the fact that his daughter was in trouble and the helpless reality that there was nothing he could do fix it.

‘It was a great shock to hear the news. Raewyn has always been in good health so it was very unexpected,' he says. ‘But right from the start she had a marvellous attitude. She had the opinion she would always win the fight.'

Don was kept involved by regular updates from Raewyn's sister Marilyn. Raewyn says, ‘We told him there was nothing he could do that couldn't be done from over there.'

Mum's the word

Raewyn's mum Joyce felt anger, frustration and helplessness. Her youngest daughter had breast cancer - but Joyce knew ultimately the battle was Raewyn's to fight.

‘The first thing I thought was, "What can I do? Can I do anything?" And I realised I couldn't. Normally I jump in and help. You're absolutely stymied,' the 79-year-old reveals. ‘It's an insidious sort of disease that creeps up on you. She looked healthy as anything. It's a silent killer.'

Watching her daughter go through the trauma of losing a breast as well as her hair was hard-hitting, but Joyce credits her daughter's ‘incredible doctor' for saving her life.

As a mother, though, Joyce says she wouldn't have given a second thought to selling her house if she needed to raise funds to investigate any developing breast cancer treatments had Raewyn's initial treatments not been successful.

‘I'd much rather have my daughter than my house,' she says. ‘I wouldn't have hesitated.'

Through it all Joyce was proud to see how Raewyn kept her spirits up, working from home and seeing friends and family.

‘A lot of people, when they get a shock like that, go to pieces and you can't blame them. But she didn't. Her defence system kicked in and she did whatever she could to beat the disease.'

Family ties

Raewyn's diagnosis rocked her closest loved ones to the core. But the close relationships she shares with her husband Roger and son Scott ensured they dealt with her cancer as a tight family team.

Coming to terms with his wife's illness was especially difficult for contractor and volunteer coastguard Roger, who lost both his parents at a young age.

‘The thought of possibly losing someone else so close to me was difficult to cope with,' he says candidly. ‘But you have to get on with it, you can't just hide under a rock. We were very lucky Raewyn's cancer was detected early enough.'

He says members of the tight-knit community where the couple lives provided him with a crucial support network. ‘When I needed to talk to someone or just get my mind off things, someone was always there. They really looked after me.'

Roger says battling Raewyn's breast cancer together has also solidified their already strong bond. ‘I have always loved and appreciated her but we make an effort to do more together now.'

The couple admit they were careful about what details they told their only son. ‘They kept it on the down-low in the beginning,' says Scott, an Auckland-based police communications officer. ‘But I can understand that they didn't want to scare anyone before it was a big deal.'

Like his parents, Scott chose not to consider the possibility of his mum dying, instead focusing on the positive.

‘There was no point in thinking negative thoughts and it was typical of Mum to never make anything a big deal. It was about taking one day at a time and waiting for the results. Thankfully she made it through.'

Raewyn's rock

The eldest of three siblings, Marilyn Wales always felt protective of her younger sister. But when she discovered Raewyn had breast cancer, there was nothing she felt she could do to put things right.

‘When someone you're close to and love is in danger, first of all you want to fix it, then you want to do whatever you can to make it easy. Then of course you look at your own mortality,' Marilyn says.

The 53-year-old was well-read about the disease - her husband had prostate cancer and several of her friends had suffered breast cancer. Following her gruelling treatment Raewyn would often come back to Marilyn's to rest or have a cup of tea. Marilyn also lent her support to Roger and Scott.

‘I couldn't do a hell of a lot for her, but I could take the pressure off for them,' she says. ‘Often the partner gets left out. Roger was really scared, but he has to be staunch for her.

‘Scott absolutely adores his mum and they kept him out of it for a little while, but there were some pretty raw emotions,' she adds. ‘He could come around here, talk and say what he thought and how he felt, which he couldn't [always] say to his mum.'

While Raewyn's survived, Marilyn says she does not want the ordeal to hang over her sister.

‘The biggest thing is that you're not defined by your illness. Even now I think that's what she's a little bit scared of, being a "breast cancer survivor".'

By Sarah Mason