One person's depression can affect the whole family. The following tools could help you cope

The forgotten victims of depression are the partners, friends and family members of those who are suffering from the illness.

It's difficult living with someone who's depressed because you can feel hopeless and helpless, but there are ways to make it easier.

 

Learn more

Educate yourself about the illness. You'll find a lot of good information on websites such as those of the Depression Support Network (www.depressionsupportnetwork.org.nz) and Ministry of Health (www.depression.org.nz). These sites also have advice on what to do
if you suspect someone is suicidal.

 

Discuss your concerns

One way to talk about depression is to simply say, ‘I'm worried about you. You seem very down and not yourself.' Describe any specific symptoms you've noticed, such as changes in appetite, sleep problems or irritability. Tell your friend you think they could be depressed, then leave it at that to allow it to sink in.

 

Encourage expert advice

Your love and support, although important, it's unlikely to be enough to get someone through this illness. Most sufferers will need the help of a GP and a psychologist or psychiatrist. Suggest they start by talking to a GP, and ask if they'd like you to come along.

 

Don't take things personally

Your partner, family member or friend may try to blame you for their unhappiness and despair. If they do, it's important to bear in mind that irritability and anger can be symptoms of depression, and that it's only the illness talking.

 

Keep up your daily routine

Don't give up on life, even if your family member has. It won't help anyone if you stop going to work or looking after the household.

 

Watch yourself

It's very easy to get down when you live with someone who's depressed. If you think you're suffering from depression too, make sure you seek expert help as soon as possible.

 

Let the kids have fun

It won't hurt anyone in your family, whether depressed or otherwise, to see the children being themselves and enjoying life.

 

Stay on the ball

If your loved one is depressed, it's important that you remain healthy so you can support them. Make sure you eat well and exercise, and take regular time out to pamper yourself.

When dealing with a partner's depression, make sure your kids still have lots of fun - it's important they're allowed to be themselves.

Get more health advice here