That's not to say school is the only place our children may be exposed to swearing. Friends, other family members and television can all influence a child's vocabulary.

Children can also spice their words with something else - attitude. Their tone can be nasty and disrespectful, and their words sarcastic and designed to sting. This can slip under the radar and take hold if parents are unsure of how to deal with it.

But is the way a child speaks to you and others a big deal? Isn't it just a stage they go through? Does it really matter?

Well, yes, it does matter. What we say reflects what is inside us - our feelings, thoughts and attitudes. That's why parents have a responsibility to speak respectfully and insist others in the family do the same. Speech is a measure of how respectful we are. It's easy to downgrade someone by swearing at them.

Speak easy

Children learn to respond appropriately by watching and imitating others. The most effective way to get your child to act respectfully is to treat them with respect and let them see you act respectfully towards others.

What children will resent from us is, ‘Do as I say, not as I do'. Here are some other ideas:

Have a ‘swear jar'. Each family member pays a set fee for using a swear word. We all slip up from time to time- and a small penalty is great for alerting the conscience and breaking habits.

Use a star chart to add focus and incentive. Add a sticker when your child speaks nicely.

If your child speaks to you rudely or arrogantly, give them another chance to redeem themselves. Using a firm, friendly tone, say, ‘You can do better than that. Come back in two minutes and ask for that again, with a respectful tone.'

Watch TV with your children. Ask them what they think about the language they hear outside the home, but maintain your own family standard.

Back yourself up solidly. Your children won't take any notice of you unless they know you absolutely mean it. No threats, reminders or angry words, just a prearranged consequence such as 10 minutes off bedtime, or missing out on playtime.

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