Many people think that to be a good parent these days, you have to keep children entertained. They assume that parenting is like managing an amusement park, where fun and action must be laid on. No wonder so many teenagers today often seem irresponsible, if not a little spoilt.

The concept of having to entertain your children is a very recent one. Traditionally, children were born into a family that saw itself as a team, in which every member had a vital part to play.

A parent's job wasn't to entertain, it was to teach them about life. Parenting is very much about training children to work in the real world and allowing them to feel the joy of accomplishment that is earned by finishing a task.

I'm not saying children shouldn't have fun, because playtime is vital in a child's development. In many ways, it's equivalent to adults at work. During play, children learn about themselves, others and their environment. Interaction between family members in games teaches winning and losing, and creates an atmosphere of cooperation. But this should not translate into all play and no chores.

It is the ability to delay gratification and learn how to reward themselves when they've achieved their goals that will equip your children for living in the real world as a smart adult.

One of our sayings at Parents Inc. is ‘Grandmother's rule'. It means, ‘You may do what you want to do once you've done what you have to do.'

When children learn the habit of delaying playtime until they finish their jobs and patting themselves on the back for a job well done, you have been a true parent-coach.

Too many parents dish out threats and punishments rather than providing opportunities for their children to get it right. They say things such as, ‘No, you can't go out to play because you haven't fed the dog,' or ‘No, you may not go to your friend's house as you haven't made your bed.'

Helping children delay gratification in a more positive way is as simple as using lines such as, ‘Yes, you may go out to play after you've made your bed'. In this way you're not punishing your children for a lack of discipline, you're giving them control over how soon they will be free to play.

How we communicate with our kids is important - try these tips and enjoy the increased cooperation in your family.

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